Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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