The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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