There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
