real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
