I can text with my tongue
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize