Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
