we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
