every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
