Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
