Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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