So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
