you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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