They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
