but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
