plz talk dirty to me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
