She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
