i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize