is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
