it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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