People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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