Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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