I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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