Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
