white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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