please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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