just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just tell him i said nine months
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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