he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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