Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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