Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
