I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize