then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
