I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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