Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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