ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
