what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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