I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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