my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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