After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
