the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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