Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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