My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
