Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Found the puke drawer
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
