Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
