I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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