He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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