i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
