I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i've created a new STD.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
