quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
