I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
