singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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