i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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