Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
