Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
