It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize