dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
