those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
