You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
