Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Bring me that man meat
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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