he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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