I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
