She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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