guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
