I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize