found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
