My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
