ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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