Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
