I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize