I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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