would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize