a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
