I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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