My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
