why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize