How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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