I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
