I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
