I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
