My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He better not be in your backpack
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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