i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
