how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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